Alone In A Videostore
Renting At Random

Okay, sickos, here's that perfect video for those nights when all the copies of Wild Things are rented out (I think you know what I'm saying, pervs.) Darren Stein's Jawbreaker is a cotton-candied kaleidoscope of suburban high school kitsch. The movie took a little heat when it hit theaters for being a "poor man's Heathers", but it should have taken a few shots for not being able to spot a punch line in an empty parking lot. Not one laugh in the whole movie unless you count the inclusion of the Scorpions' "Rock You Like A Hurricane" on the soundtrack. Rose McGowan (Phantoms) is predictably scary, Jeff Conaway (Taxi, Grease) turns in an inspired, effeminate cameo, and Pam Grier squeaks out the 15th minute of her Jackie Brown fame in a lazily written cop role.

Recommended only for the too-short Donnas performance and the reoccurring montages of twenty-something actresses walking down hallways and out of swimming pools in slow motion. Forget Heathers, this is John Waters in a strip mall.

Caveat Renter.