Right Turn Clyde
Volume 1 Issue 3 - So Much To Answer For, So Sick Of Talking About It

Mission Statement
About RTC
Spanking The Monkey

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Warning Signs That Your Teen-Film's Geeky Kid Is A Stereotype

  • Character has large black Buddy Holly-style glasses held together by tape.
  • Character has easy to ridicule last name like "Humpler" or "Fudgenutz".
  • Annoying laugh
  • Has that stupid picture of Einstein sticking out his tongue in his locker.
  • Out-dated hairstyle and fashion sense.
  • Character enjoys a school subject, typically math or science, more than ANYTHING.
  • Leads group of teens through tunnels under school that no one but geek knew existed.
  • Character makes one or more Star Trek references and/or has poster of Gillian Anderson hanging on bedroom wall.
  • Thinks naming his term paper on eyesight regeneration, "SHE UNBLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE" is the funniest thing ever.
  • Has built some sort of Rube Goldberg invention to do menial task like turning off his alarm clock.
  • Character has physical impediment that requires wearing head gear or a neck brace.
  • Pocket protectors a must.
  • Identically geeky parents
  • Rides the school bus, even during his senior year.
  • Has contents of lunch tray dumped in lap. Repeatedly.
  • If the geek has an older brother, said brother is a jock and terrorizes the geek.
  • If the geek has a younger brother, said brother is brilliant and is content with being a loner.
  • Says at some point, "I don't know, it sounds so crazy that it just might work."
  • You've cast Eddie Deezen

Alternate Roads
The Brain Suggests Five Other Titles For The Tim Robbins / Jeff Bridges Thriller

  1. Addams Family Values 2: Slidin' it Militia Style
  2. Shawshank 2: This Time He's Guilty
  3. Starman 2: He's Got To Be From Space To Have That Dumb Ass Haircut
  4. The Dude Meets Bob Roberts: Well, Duh, Who Do You THINK Will Win?
  5. Tron 2: He Must Be A Computer Genius To Get That Microsoft 2 Button Mouse To Work With His Powerbook



American Pie

Greater Than, Lesser Than: An RTC Forum of Disgust
Jay Mohr vs. Adam Sandler

What the F#@!?
A Rundown of Things Even We Could Not Make Up

Dad, Can I Have a DVD Player?
Time Bandits

Video Dumpster Diving
They Live, Nosferatu, Outland, The Hitcher

If You Like Depressing Movies...

The Sixth Sense
Hearing Aid Required

Fan Club of One: A Good Review of The Haunting
Things That Go Bump (Crash, Roar, Slice) In The Night

Slumming With Catherine Keener

We Hardly Know Ye: RTC's Tribute to Living(?) Celebrities
Mark Holton

We Watch Bad Movies So You Don't Have To
Cutthroat Island

Feel The Burn

Lee Van Cleef
The Baddest Man Alive. Oh Wait...

Hats Off To Dead Guys!
RTC's Salute to Trey Wilson or His Name Ain't Nathan Arizona



Top 5 Movie Lists
Kissy from the band, Cadallaca

Tat Watch '99
Angelina Jolie

I'm Sorry Officer
I Can't Be 100% Sure

Shoutouts, Submissions, Websites
and a Bit About Aida Turturro


The Wayback Machine
Leelee Sobieski

Deep Blue C-Minus
A RTC Identity Check

Countdown To Blair Witch Backlash

Excuse Me, But Have You Met Asia Argento?

More Episode 2 Villians

Fight Club

Mission Statement | About | Spanking The Monkey | Links
Issue 8 | Issue 7.5 | Issue 7 | Issue 6 | Issue 5 | Issue 4 | Issue 3 | Issue 2 | Issue 1

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