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Sacred Cows And Fatted Calves
Hollywood's Relentless Bovine-Bashing Agenda
These days, you can't turn around without hearing of another special
interest group's abuse at the hands of Hollywood. But who will speak
for those that have no voices? Who will speak for those who go forth
and graze? And for those whom the answer to 'Got Milk?' is always
a resounding yes, who will defend their name? It has long been a
Right Turn Clyde conviction to step up for the little guy (We still
miss you, Mr. Villechaize). We feel it is our civic duty to put
our paws down and say, "No, sir. There will be no more abusing cows
on the big screen as long as we run this town." As a public service
announcement, we now cite the worst offenders in these crimes against
cows. Remember, the first step in defeating the enemy is knowing
who your enemy is. You may thank us later.
Twister - If you think that cow in a tornado survived, you
are only fooling yourself.
Lake Placid - When David E. Kelley's crocodile turned land
shark, no man (or cow) was safe.
Heathers & Tommy Boy - Cow Tipping is not a sport.
Monty Python And The Holy Grail - More flying cows. Run
away.
Top Secret - Even dressing up like a cow is disrespected.
Three Kings - This is how they serve steak for parties of
50 or more.
City Slickers - Not only is its mother put to sleep by Jack
Palance, the calf is then "rewarded" by going to live with Billy
Crystal. Somebody call PETA quick.
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