Right Turn Clyde
Volume 1 Issue 5 - Picking The Pockets Of Literary Corpses

Mission Statement
About RTC
Spanking The Monkey

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I'm Working But I'm Not Working For You
RTC's Favorite Movies With Scenes In Cubicles

The Rapture

Jungle Fever

Girl 6

Working Girl

The Fisher King

After Hourse

The New Age

Office Space

Head Office

The Matrix

Wall Street




Nothing In Common

All The President's Men

The Temp

American Beauty

Sacred Cows And Fatted Calves
Hollywood's Relentless Bovine-Bashing Agenda

These days, you can't turn around without hearing of another special interest group's abuse at the hands of Hollywood. But who will speak for those that have no voices? Who will speak for those who go forth and graze? And for those whom the answer to 'Got Milk?' is always a resounding yes, who will defend their name? It has long been a Right Turn Clyde conviction to step up for the little guy (We still miss you, Mr. Villechaize). We feel it is our civic duty to put our paws down and say, "No, sir. There will be no more abusing cows on the big screen as long as we run this town." As a public service announcement, we now cite the worst offenders in these crimes against cows. Remember, the first step in defeating the enemy is knowing who your enemy is. You may thank us later.

Twister - If you think that cow in a tornado survived, you are only fooling yourself.

Lake Placid - When David E. Kelley's crocodile turned land shark, no man (or cow) was safe.

Heathers & Tommy Boy - Cow Tipping is not a sport.

Monty Python And The Holy Grail - More flying cows. Run away.

Top Secret - Even dressing up like a cow is disrespected.

Three Kings - This is how they serve steak for parties of 50 or more.

City Slickers - Not only is its mother put to sleep by Jack Palance, the calf is then "rewarded" by going to live with Billy Crystal. Somebody call PETA quick.

Wrong Man For The Job
Movies That Might Have Been Better With A Different Lead Actor

1) Idle Hands - I believe this was subtitled Bruce Campbell, 90210

2) Mumford - I'll wager $100 that Loren Dean's favorite ice cream flavor is Vanilla.

3) Star Wars Episode 2 if Ryan Phillippe is cast as Anakin.

This issue of Right Turn Clyde is brought to you by
The Paper Street Soap Company

Ask for Tyler.

Skip the soup.



Warner Scissorhands

Dearest Drew
An Open Letter To Drew Barrymore

Encyclopedia Brown
The Case Of The Weird Kid In Rushmore

Droppin' Science With RTC
John Favreau

Uh-Oh... Canada

Pancakes During The Age Of Enlightenment
Tea With Mussolini

Anatomy Of An RTC Idea
Skydiving On Film

I Want My Two Dollars!
Dr. Pants' Guide To Better Living Through The Films of "Savage" Steve Holland

RTC Pulls Out A Pedestal For William Fichtner

If You Like Depressing Movies
Double Suicide

The Way We Were
Kush Looks Back In Anger

Please, Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em
The Abominable Snowman

The Right Turn Clyde Rehad Prevention Act
Daniel Baldwin

Brave New Robotic World

A Whore's A Whore Of Course Of Course
RTC's Favorite Cinematic Streetwalkers

Fact Checker Position Open At Details Magazine
War Games

You Want To Buy A Monkey?
Cabin Boy Revisited


Top 5 Movie List
Ian Grey

Tat Watch '99
Alyssa Milano

Bartholomew J. Treehugger
Chimpanzee Film Critic

The Walls Have Ears

Friends Of The (Happy) Robot Alliance

The Usual Shoutouts


You Cannot Escape Asia Argento

Webbed Feet
Wasting Time On The Man's Dime

The Right Turn Clyde Board Game

Father Knows Best?
The Onscreen Dads Of Molly Ringwald


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