|
 Slumming
With Catherine Keener
One of the things that causes hands to slap foreheads more than
anything else around here is the awkward sight of beloved "indie"
actors trying to gain a little face recognition in big-budget crap.
Yes, we understand bigger movies means bigger exposure. And actors
do have to pay the bills, too. But, what can possibly rationalize
Hope Davis (who we love, love, love) being genuinely wasted in a
sub-stereotypical disbelieving "wife" role in Arlington Road?
Hope Davis is one of the reasons we're going to see the thing-at
least, give her something to do besides act concerned, cry, and
drive hazardously.
Or what about Catherine Keener's misplacement in Joel Schumacher's
8MM (which is actually the uncensored, latex-covered version of
Jerry Springer's RINGMASTER)? We dig on Catherine so much we were
willing to see 8MM and cross our fingers that she was the one good
thing in it, our "port in the storm".
Alas, dear readers, we ended up taking one for the team. Bruised,
disheveled, we wished that we had had some sort of a guide. A guide
that allowed us to fast-forward just to Catherine Keener's parts,
soak them in, and get the hell out. We prayed that somebody would
come along and save us from Nic Cage's acting method of emoting
intensely followed by staring at a fixed point in space. Why couldn't
somebody make a list of....Hello....what do we have here?
THE RTC GUIDE TO CATHERINE KEENER'S APPEARANCES IN JOEL SCHUMACHER'S
8MM
| Keener Enters |
Keener Exits |
Keener's Action |
| 00:04:07 |
00:06:23 |
Enter the appreciated and domesticated wife / mother. |
|
00:14:43
00:15:53
|
00:15:35
00:16:03 |
Wife shows concern in slightly passive-aggressive way. |
| 00:29:53 |
00:30:32 |
Phone call from Nic, distracted by playful baby. |
| 00:38:23 |
00:38:50 |
Another phone call from Nic. Tired, kissy-face talk. |
| At this point, Nic tells Catherine he will call
her right back. Allow us to stop for a second and teach a valuable
lesson about being in a movie with Nic Cage. If the opportunity
ever arose for you and Nic Cage to star in a movie together
and Nic Cage tells you he'll call you right back, do not believe
Nic Cage, because as the chart below shows, "right back"
for Nic Cage means nearly an hour. |
| 00:58:10 |
00:58:20 |
Tries to call Nic back. No answer. We are forced to watch
a great actress listen to a dial tone for ten seconds. |
| 01:28:04 |
01:28:29 |
FINALLY, Nic calls back! But does he say he loves you? Does
he say where he's been for days on end? No, it's the same old
thing – GET OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW!! |
| 01:30:21 |
01:32:21 |
Reunion with Nic at remote cabin; some answers would be nice.
Nic so emotionally distant. Wife cries. |
| 01:33:46 |
01:35:32 |
Wife throws down gauntlet. "We may not be there (home)
when you get back." |
| 01:57:21 |
01:57:51 |
Nice arrives home and of course she's back. Wife as caretaker
hugs morally crippled Nic Cage. |
There are a few unmemorable reaction shots in the end shot. But,
unlike us, you probably have had the good sense to turn it off by
now.
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