Right Turn Clyde
Volume 1 Issue 8 - 50 Cups Of Coffee And You Know It's On
Your Monthly Dose Of Cynicism

Mission Statement
About RTC
Spanking The Monkey

Search this site

Select an Issue


PDF Files
Page One
Page Two
Page Three
Page Four
Page Five
Page Six
Page Seven
Page Eight
Page Nine
Page Ten

Requires Acrobat 3.0 or later
Dowload Acrobat

Subscribe to our mailing list for the latest news and updates


Overdosin' On The Sopranos
RTC's Lackluster Attempt To Chronicle A Pop Culter Phenomenon

Unless you've been in rehab for the last 8 weeks (present company included), you'd be hard pressed not to be victim of SOPRANOS MEDIA SATURATION. Billboards, buses, condom dispensers-you name it, James Gandolfini's macho wince is tattooed on it. Other more professional websites might cater to the hardcore fan by providing online scripts or streaming videos on their site. This being Right Turn Clyde (the preferred movie 'zine of death row inmates), however, we've slacked off until the deadline once again and are forced to cobble together yet another column based on little-known facts and half-truths.You'd like to thank us? Fuggedaboutit.


James Gandolfini Tony Soprano
BEST KNOWN FOR: The thug in True Romance that boxes Patricia Arquette's ears, the thug in Get Shorty.
STUFF WE JUST MADE UP: Suffers from a rare medical condition in which he is allergic to water.
Edie Falco Carmela Soprano
RECENTLY SEEN IN: Judy Berlin, Copland
YOU GOTTA SEE HER IN: Laws of Gravity
SMALL TALK FOR BORING PARTIES: The only member of The Sopranos to receive an Emmy for its' 1st season
STUFF WE JUST MADE UP: Practices snake-handling in lieu of professional medicine.
Lorraine Bracco Dr. Jennifer Melfi -Tony's therapist
RECENTLY SEEN IN: Hackers, Even Cowgirls GetThe Blues
BEST KNOWN FOR: Goodfellas
SMALL TALK FOR BORING PARTIES: Once married for a short time to Harvey Keitel
STUFF WE JUST MADE UP: Refuses to fly on airplanes unless handcuffed.
Nancy Marchand Livia Soprano -Tony's mom
BEST KNOWN FOR: Playing the mayor in t.v's POLICE SQUAD
YOU GOTTA SEE HER IN: The John Turturro meets the Marx Brothers comedy, BRAIN DONORS
SMALL TALK FOR BORING PARTIES: Has had cancer for 3 years.
STUFF WE JUST MADE UP: Claims to have been visited by the ghost of Vic Morrow.
Jamie Lynn Sigler Meadow Soprano
NICKNAME: "Meadow"
RECENTLY SEEN IN: The daydreams of high school teachers who can't stand that slutty Britney Spears.
STUFF WE JUST MADE UP: Proud owner of patents on several inventions including the Deafening Tone Generator and a machine that turns garbage into mayonnaise.
Michael Imperioli Christopher Moltisanti
BEST KNOWN FOR: Spider in GoodFellas
SMALL TALK FOR BORING PARTIES: In 1995, he played a character named Jo-Jo in two non-related movies (BAD BOYS , CLOCKERS).
STUFF WE JUST MADE UP: Co-founded the Kinko's copy store chain.
Robert Iler Anthony Soprano, Jr.
RECENTLY SEEN IN: Promos for Season Two of The Sopranos
STUFF WE JUST MADE UP: With his earnings from the first season of The Sopranos, he rented a lear jet for a transatlantic tour of London, France, and the ever-popular Queen's underpants.
John Heard Detective Vin Makazian
BEST KNOWN FOR: The child neglecting father in Home Alone 1 & 2
SMALL TALK FOR BORING PARTIES: Once married to and served a restraining order from Homicide's Melissa Leo.
STUFF WE JUST MADE UP: Built an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower out of gopher wood in his neighbor's yard.
Dominic Chianese

"Uncle Junior" Corrado Soprano
RECENTLY SEEN IN: The Thomas Crown Affair
BEST KNOWN FOR: Johnny Ola in The Godfather Part Two
STUFF WE JUST MADE UP: Swears that he knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried because "I'm the crazy son-of-a-bitch that put him there".


Not The Sopranos You're Thinking About

Alan Warner's novel tells the coming of age story of a group of Scottish schoolgirls. It has nothing to do with the tv show, but it does have plaid-skirted, foul-mouthed Catholic girls slamming drinks and getting wild in the streets. Which explains why we even mention it.


Nice Van! RTC Sets The Record Straight
Steven Van Zandt
Former member of Springsteen's band
Currently on The Sopranos
Gus Van Sant
Former indie-art film wunderkind
Currently works as studio flak
Ronnie Van Zant
Former member of Lynyrd Skynyrd
Currently dead


Mission Statement | About | Spanking The Monkey | Links
Issue 8 | Issue 7.5 | Issue 7 | Issue 6 | Issue 5 | Issue 4 | Issue 3 | Issue 2 | Issue 1

Please direct any questions or problems with this website to jonmichaels@earthlink.net